Welcome to Romance

I am a contemporary romance writer. I published my first novel, Take 2, in Dec 2012. I chat about relationships and love. I'm no expert! I'd love your feedback!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Perfect Chapter 2

Chapter 2
The Plano sun beat down mercilessly on Alex’s black Honda Civic.  Sweat trickled down her forehead. Inside the car it had to be 100 degrees; hard to believe the air conditioner was on. All it seemed to be doing was blowing hot air. By the time she got home there might be a cool breeze coming from the vent.  
The gym was Alex’s solace,but in the heat it was hard to feel refreshed after her workout. She had been overweight all her life, sometimes more so than others.  At forty-four Alex was wanting to look better than she ever had before. She didn’t want to reach mid-life and look like a frumpy mom.  So she hit the gym five times a week and it was starting to pay off.  Even her husband, Josh, of twenty-two years, was starting to notice. 
Alex had tried exercising at other times in her life but could never stick to a regime.  This time was different.  She was starting to feel the effects of aging, stiff knees, sore back, in bed early every night, and she wanted to ward it off as long as she could. The weight lifting and aerobic classes were paying off.  Not only had Alex lost 40 pounds but she had never felt more alive.  Josh noticed the changes in Alex and enjoyed watching her move in her new found body.  She was sexier now than she was when they got married.  She was thinner too. Alex was aware of Josh, as well as other men, noticing and it made her feel young and alive, motivating her to continue her routine. 
Alex attributed her commitment to fitness to Veronica Becker.  Veronica routinely had fitness gurus and “before and after” guests constantly motivated her. If they could do it, she could too.  Alex watched Veronica’s show every day to catch the latest fitness news and see which “unobtainable” guest she had snagged. Veronica also had great contests for her viewers.  She gave away designer clothing, appliances, trips to her show, as well as vacations.  
Josh was tall, blonde and a bit arrogant.  As a financial advisor for a large firm, he worked long hours and tried to pay attention to his wife when he was home.  He loved her and tried not to take her for granted, but Josh knew he had gotten the better end of the bargain when he married Alex.  The other men he worked with complained constantly about their wives, the nagging, inattention to their sexual needs and how much money they spent.  Josh was a blessed man and he knew it.  Alex worked an average paying job that appreciated her hard work, paid her handsomely for it, and that was their play money.  His check went for the bills and the necessities of raising a child.  Their daughter, Mattie, now twenty-one, took classes part-time at the local community college and worked part-time at the school computer lab.  Her expenses were low and Josh knew it would be no time before she would be moving out on her own.  He knew he had the ideal family and tried very hard not to assume it was by happenstance.  
Josh and Alex had endured some rough times too, mostly over the raising of their daughter.  Alex was too tough, Josh too lenient.  Then they would swap.  It kept Mattie on her toes, never knowing which parent might be on her side.  Sometimes backing each other up caused more arguments once Mattie left the room.  When she started college, life around the house had become less chaotic.  Mattie became absorbed with school and work and was home less and less, giving Alex more time for herself.  Alex had let her appearance go over the years, concentrating on rearing Mattie.  Josh didn’t seem to mind, his career was kicking off and the less distraction the better.  And so their lives plowed on at an average speed in an average direction in no particular fashion.
Now that Alex had more time to herself she began to realized the disadvantage of marrying so young.  She had never done anything for herself.  From eighteen years old Alex had put someone else before her; first Josh and his career, then Mattie and her rearing. She had a full time job as a customer service rep for a marketing company.  She spent eight hours a day in a cube talking to customers and vendors.  She enjoyed her job and liked the people she worked with. She spent a minimum of five hours a week in the gym, usually getting closer to ten. She kept to herself at the gym and was very focused when she worked out. At home she still made dinner each night for Mattie and Josh. If they came home late, or in Mattie’s case not at all, they both knew leftovers would be in the fridge waiting for them. Now, for the first time in her life, Alex was trying to take more time to focus on herself and become more independent. 
Josh arrived home from work later than usual and Alex was coming out of her skin with excitement.
“You’ll never guess what happened!!!”
Josh was exhausted.  Just watching her sucked what little energy he had left. “Tell me.”
“I won a trip for two to New York! To the Veronica Becker show! Can you get away?” she asked expectantly, but Alex already knew the answer
“When?” Josh was snowed under at work and knew it didn’t matter when it was he couldn’t leave the office.
“April 15-17,” she replied in a hushed tone.  
“That’s the end of tax season and things will be crazy at work.  No, I can’t get a way.”
Josh and Alex hadn’t had a vacation in 4 years, since Mattie was in high school. “See if Mattie can go”, was Josh’s response, even though he knew that was not what Alex wanted to hear.
Alex was disappointed but wasn’t surprised.  She knew Mattie would have to work and not be able to travel with her either. On Monday, when the rep from the Veronica Becker show called to finalize the details, Alex had decided she would travel alone.  Although she really didn’t like venturing to knew places on her own, she was not turning this opportunity down.  Time to try this independence she was looking for.  
April 15th arrived and Alex could think of nothing else.  Josh’s usual day was ten hours or more but during tax season he could be at the office up to twenty hours, barely sleeping or eating. Mattie was excited for her mom but school projects had her weighed down. So Alex shopped alone for a new outfit and worked out extra at the gym to look good on TV.  Her plane tickets arrived and her seat was in first class.  She looked on-line at the hotel she was to stay in and couldn’t believe the luxury. This was the trip of her dreams. 
When her plane landed in New York she navigated through the maze of corridors to the escalator, following the signs to “Ground Transportation”.  She prayed she could find the car that was sent from the show to pick her up. To her amazement, a driver stood at the front of the crowd holding a sign stating:
Alexandra Daniels
The Veronica Becker Show
She could hardly contain her excitement! She was really here, New York City!  And riding in a limo!
The driver dropped her at her hotel and told her he would return for her at 1PM the next day.  Alex checked in and was told all her expenses were paid and to enjoy her stay. 
The room was on the forty-fourth floor.  The view was breathtaking.  She could see for miles. She had no idea what part of New York she was in, maybe Manhattan.  The room had plush carpeting and the sheets on the bed were the softest cotton. She plopped on the bed, sinking into the plush satin, and flicked on the TV.  As she channel surfed she ran across a Derek Dunbar movie about three fourths the way through.  She finished watching it, took a relaxing shower and called for room service.  Josh called at nine to wish her good night.  Mattie sent a text with the same.  Alex felt she was a million miles from her life.  
At 1PM the next day Alex was downstairs and getting in her car.  The trip to the studio took about forty-five minutes, traffic was brutal.  Nervous about meeting her icon in person, Alex’s stomach was in knots.  The studio was immense. There were people everywhere, rushing back and forth.  It seemed like organized chaos. Alex was taken to Veronica’s dressing room.
“Oh, good afternoon, you must be Alexandra Daniels! Welcome.” Veronica’s smile was so genuine.  Alex began to relax.
Veronica’s makeup artist was hard at work making her beautiful.  
“Please, call me Alex. I’m so excited to be here!  Thank you so much for this trip!” 
“Alex, take a seat. Tell me about yourself. How was your flight and your hotel room?”
Alex raved about the luxurious room and gave the Reader’s Digest condensed version of her life. Veronica seemed genuinely interested, despite having the crew rush all around her. 
“Alex, you’ll be seated in the front row. I’ll introduce you.  And after the show you can meet my guests.  Today we’ll be having fashionista, Barbara Marx,  and actor, Derek Dunbar, as my guests.  That should be fun.  I haven’t met him yet.  Do you like him?”
Alex’s heart skipped a beat.  Could it be? This was definitely the best trip ever! “Oh, yes!  I have seen all his films.”
“All?”
Alex cast her eyes down, ashamed of her fan-ness.  “Yes, all. I’m quite the fan. Its a bit embarrassing.”
Veronica was light-hearted, “Don’t be embarrassed.  Thats how actors make their money. Without fans they wouldn’t last.  Well, then I’m sure you’ll enjoy meeting him, won’t you! Glad we could make this a memorable trip!” Veronica giggled as Alex was rushed away to the seating area. 
The show drug on for Alex.  She couldn’t wait for Derek to come out. 
Not only had Alex a passion for working out but she’d also become a movie junkie.  New releases, old releases, at home or at the theater.  Her spare time had been filled to the brim.  Watching an R-rated movie had been a forgotten luxury while Mattie was growing up. Josh and Alex focused on good quality television whenever Mattie was in the room. Now that Mattie was grown and rarely home, Alex decided to do some catching up. Since Josh spent long hours at work, Alex had a void to fill. She could only spend so much time at the gym...
In her obsession with films she came across a movie star she was unfamiliar with - Derek Dunbar.  He was handsome, tall, blazing blue eyes and had a Scottish accent. At least she thought he did.  His accent varied from movie to movie.  He reminded her of her first actor crush, Sean Connery, in the 70’s.  Even as a young girl she was fascinated by his accent.  In her west Texas town they didn’t have accents, not compared to their relatives in Dallas or Houston.  Not his kind of accent. She’d been drawn to it.  She was drawn to it still.  
She went on the internet and watched YouTube interviews with Derek Dunbar.  He was definitely Scottish.  She enjoyed hearing stories from his film sets, practical jokes, funny moments, the way he laughed.  It aroused her.  He seemed genuine, friendly.  She saw videos of him giving autographs to groups of fans, at premiers shaking hands with the crowd.  Not the typical “get out of my face I want my privacy” star.  But then there wasn’t much information about his private life.  Oh, there was a biography about his childhood and how he came into acting but not much about girlfriends, dating or law troubles.  Alex searched more YouTube interviews.  
Derek, with his most inviting smile, talked to an interviewer about his latest movie.  In an effort to ask the most unusual question of the day the reporter asked,
“Have you ever written a love letter?”
Derek eyes looked to a faraway place, melancholy, “Yes, I have.  A long time ago”.  Then laughing it off says, “Who writes when there is texting?” 
The reporter laughs too but isn’t dissuaded.  She wants a story.  
“Do you want a wife, kids, the white picked fence?”
Derek smiles, “Sure someday. But where’s the time?”  And laughs it off.  
His laugh is contagious but his eyes are not laughing.  The interviewer is finished but has not seen the depth of the question.  Did she hit a nerve?  
In other interviews Derek is accused of womanizing that he neither acknowledges or denies.  He laughs the questions off.  He is branded a playboy, unable to settle down. Photos of him encourage the reputation.  Shirtless, pensive, an Adonis.  Rumors of dates with various starlets circulate the gossip magazines in the grocery store and the internet. 
Alex watched every movie he was in.  She discussed her interest in Derek as an actor and found the other women she worked with lusted after him too.  He was obviously in running for the “Sexiest Man of the Year” by the way women talked about him.  Alex felt her obsession wasn’t so bad after all.  She shared it with half the women on the planet.
Finally, Veronica introduced Derek. Alex was giddy but tried to contain herself.  She didn’t want to appear the crazed fan, even if she felt like it inside.  She couldn’t believe how excited she was. Now she understood her mother’s fascination with Elvis Presley and how thousands of women could swoon over a man. 
Derek came out and was just as Alex had expected.  He was warm, friendly, funny, and made eye contact with her. At least she thought he did.  This portion of the show seem to fly by and was over too soon for Alex. She waited hesitantly for Veronica to call her up to the stage.
The show ended and Veronica invited Alex to come up and meet Derek.  
Alex took a deep breath and tried to steady herself.  
“Hello Alex! I hear you’re a fan of mine too”, Derek stated teasingly, admiring her blush. 
“ Yes.  I really have enjoyed your movies.”
Derek invited Alex to have a seat next to him and asked,  “Which one do you think is the best?” 
Alex thought a moment. 
“Best movie overall or the best movie you were the lead in?”  Alex had many favorites but there were a couple that stood out to her.
“You tell me.” Derek was surprised Alex actually had a real opinion.
“I have really enjoyed the period pieces you’ve done, The Great Queen and The Hun are my favorite of those.  Of the more modern movies The Stranger and Judgement I thought were very good scripts and the acting was great in them.  Which was your favorite to make?” Thrilled she was able to put two coherent sentences together, Alex was felt calmer.
Derek thought about it, “The Great Queen since it was my first but Judgement was a great movie and the first I produced and directed.  Although The Stranger is very dear to me.  I love that story.  I think you’ve picked my favorites too.”  
As the crew began closing down the set for the day Veronica thanked Derek again for his appearance and congratulated Alex on her good fortune.  As she excused herself to prepare for another show, an assistant began escorting Alex and Derek down the back hall. 
“Do you have dinner plans?”, Derek asked her as they paused at exit door.
Was Derek inviting her out?  Alex needed to steady herself.
“No, I don’t.  I don’t have any plans.”
As Alex and Derek walked out the stage door.  The paparazzi swarmed them as he tried to open a path to his car.  Derek grabbed Alex’s wrist and dragged her behind before she was engulfed by the crowd of cameras. There was a frenzy of shouted questions about Alex.  Who was she? Were they dating? Is it serious? Is she a future co-star? Derek tried to be polite, refusing to acknowledge any questions while asking the crowd to back away a bit while they tried to make their getaway.  
Derek Dunbar wasn’t just any actor but one of the busiest actors in Hollywood. He had sandy brown hair, bright blue eyes, a strong square jaw with a hint of five o’clock shadow and an alluring scottish accent.  He wasn’t just good looking he was a good actor; versatile, playing comedy, drama or action. Women found him sensual and sexy, men admired the way he made women feel.  He could have any woman he desired and most often did.  His career, only 12 years in the making, was gaining strength and he had his pick of scripts.
“Is it always like this?”  Alex was surprised how vulturistic the paparazzi were. 
“Yes, it is.  I’m sorry about all that. I should have expected they’d have the car staked out.  I’m sure you’ll be in a few tabloids tomorrow. Try not to think about them. Have you been to New York before?”
Alex couldn’t believe what was happening. “No I haven’t. This is my first visit.”
“Let me show you around.  We’ll need to lose these cameras. You don’t mind fast driving do you?” Derek has a mischievous smile on his face.  It made Alex smile too. 
“No, I’m used to it.  Show me what ya got!” Alex was getting comfortable and brave.  This aught to be fun.
Derek didn’t lie, he drove fast.  Really fast for the traffic in New York. He stopped at a deli on a quiet street, out of the way of the busy traffic.  Away from the paparazzi for a moment too, Alex imagined. 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Perfect Chapter 1

Chapter 1
“Today one lucky viewer will win a trip for two to visit New York and my show.  An all expense paid weekend!” announced Veronica Becker, touted as the ‘Every Woman’s Woman’ by national magazines.  
Veronica Becker had become a household name, a chef for the everyday woman; quick, inexpensive meals that were tasty too.  Veronica had taken her love of cooking to television and added a bit of fashion, some down to earth chat with the audience and  interviews with the latest stars.  She was  health conscious and wanted the women in her audience to look their best at any age. She also loved to give things away. Coming from a modest family she believed in giving back. Generous to a fault, if there was an earthquake somewhere, a typhoon, or tornado, Veronica was there to help out.   
“Our winner is Alexandra Daniels of Plano, Texas! Congratulations! We’ll be giving Alexandra a call today!”
Alex sat in her chair, her eyes wide, staring at the screen.  Alex loved the Veronica Becker Show and was a faithful viewer.  During her lunch hour at work she would rush to the break room to turn it on. Her co-workers were staring at her.  Alex had never won anything but that didn’t prevent her from signing up each week in hopes, knowing full well the likelihood of winning was minimal at best.  Had she really won???
“Alex! That’s you! You won!”, they all shouted.
“Oh...my...God! I can’t believe it! I won!”
Alex had the hardest time concentrating the rest of the afternoon.  As a customer service rep for a marketing company, she was usually swamped with work but couldn’t concentrate. Two o’clock rolled around and Alex’s cell rang, a number she didn’t recognize. 
“Hello?”
“Is this Alexandra Daniels?”
“Yes it is”
“Alexandra, this is the Veronica Becker show. I am pleased to tell you that you are the winner of a  trip for two to New York City and tickets for the show.”
“I can’t believe it! Are you sure?”  Alex was still in shock.  She wanted to make sure there was no mistake.  Josh would never believe her.
“Yes, you’ve won! We will send you your tickets. Your trip is for April 15-17.  Can you make it those dates?”
“Oh yes!  I’ll make it work! Thank you so much!” 
“We’ll get back to you Monday to finalize the details.  Have a great weekend!”
“Oh, I will now!” Alex was amazed! It was true, she actually won! She was already mentally packing when reality hit.  Josh would never take off work to go.  Maybe Mattie could go with her....no, she had school.  She could ask Kathleen, her best friend and co-worker, but they couldn’t take off at the same time.  Kathleen was her back up so one of them had to be there. No, she’d have to go alone. Well, it was about time she did something adventurous.  This was probably the most exciting thing that had happened to Alex in a very long time. 

Masked Chat

You've found that special someone. They say all the right things, are interested in what is going on in your life and you have tons in common. There's just one glitch...You don't know what they look like.  Yep! You met them on a social networking site and they have no photo. 

I know its strange but think about it. Your mind is stimulated by the hours of conversations with them.  You excited every time you chat with them; its the best part of your day. They seem enamored by you as well. Do you need to see what they look like?

There's a small Mexican village in terrible need of a savior from a tyrannical leader.  Zorro zooms in and saves the day.  Did anyone ask him to take his mask off? Did the lovely woman he swoops by and kisses ask? Nope! They were just glad he was there. 

Your chat buddy is a kind of superhero.  They brighten your day and make you feel good about yourself.  Do you ever wonder if they are real? How old they are? If they're telling you the truth? Will you ever meet them? Does it matter? 

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Boundaries

    We all have them. Some to keep us in line. Some to keep others at arms length. What are yours for?

    Think about our boundaries. We teach them to our children.  "Don't get up in people's faces." "Don't touch your brother. Stay on your half of the couch." "Only go on group dates." "Don't loan money to your family and close friends."
  
    These are basic boundaries we learn as we grow up. Of course, as we experience life, and cross some of these boundaries, testing the water, we lose some of them.  What happens when life beats us down, smacks us around, and leaves us on the side of the road battered and bruised?

    We end up with walls, not boundaries. Walls that keep those around us at arms length.  Walls that keep us from making mistakes and choices we fear are wrong. Walls that keep in feelings of unworthiness and self-doubt. Walls that keep out freedom to be who we are meant to be, to set us free.

   How can we get the walls to come down? Trust. In those closest to us. We all have warts that have grown over time. Those that love us, our dearest friends, have touched those warts and weren't afraid. They can help us take the walls down, slowly, one brick at a time. No judgement, no ridicule, no pity.  Only tenderness, guidance and patience.

    What happens when the wall blocks love from entering in? Can we survive? Can life be truly all it can be without the love of others? Trust. It's all we can do. And not let the world go by.

  

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Love Sparks

    Nothing like a well-built man in tights to spark your interest. For instance, take Captain America, mild mannered military man, small in stature and size, risks his life by stepping into a capsule that suddenly makes him taller and buff.  He puts on tights and mask and, whew, the fantasy starts.
  
    Imagine lying in bed, sound asleep, you feel the briefest touch.  Your eyes open to this statuesque man.  His costume shows every bump and bulge.  He flexes his muscles.  Your breath catches. Who is he? Why is he here?

    Ok, one for the guys.  Traffic is backed up on the freeway. Its 100 degrees in the shade. You can't wait to get home. Cars are at a standstill. You look up ahead and a woman steps out of her car.  She's leggy, brunette and busty.  She stands in the middle of the street, spins around and, poof, she's gone from her business suite to a strapless one-piece.  Wonder Woman is headed your way. She stops by your sports car and taps on the window, her breasts at eye level.  What would she want with you? Why now?

    Fantasies.  We all have them. Whether they're with a total stranger, a super hero, or your significant other, they all add spice to life.   In the movie "Four Christmases" Reese Witherspoon's and Vince Vaughn's characters roll play for added excitement.  They pretend they don't know each other and meet in a bar. Fantasies.  Have you tried any? How do you add spice to life?

    Does it mean we feel less for our special someone if we fantasize they're someone else for  the briefest of moments? Does it mean life is dull and mundane if the French maid's outfit comes out before Halloween?  If a new outfit, quirky dialog, or jumping on the bed aren't for you, turn the lights off and close your eyes. Who do you see? Let your mind wonder. Take a fantasy trip and live a little.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

    Her fingers brushed his arm. Her touch burned his skin; the kind of heat that tingles, sends a warming sensation to his loins.  His breath caught. He looked down at her.  Her eyes, warm pools of desire, looked up at him with longing.

    Remember that feeling? Is that feeling only possible at the start of a relationship or can it be kept alive for years? Romance books flaunt it.  Movies capitalize on it.  Is it a real feeling?  Is it lust or can it last?

    We've all had that experience.  We try to recreate years into our relationships.  Do you know the couple that still has it?  What are they like? Do they have children?  We all want that.  Its the reason we date, the reason some have affairs.  Is it reality?

    There are couples who've been together 40, 50 plus years.  You see her look up into his eyes. He takes her hand.  They glow.  How have they managed to keep that ultimate feeling? Years of work.  Romancing each other.  Listening to one another.  Loving.  Can all couples have this?

    That feeling is out there. Its our task to grab hold of it and not take advantage of it. Its a gift.  It is possible to experience it more than once, but do you really want to take that chance?

Monday, July 4, 2011

Can Love Last Forever

    From the time we are small we are taught to strive for a goal - live happily ever after.  But is that realistic? Is it possible?
    From watching many friends, as well as my own marriage, happily ever after is a relative term.  Who's version of happy? What does happy really mean? Is there such a thing? I mean, comfortable and routine is happy for many, lack of conflict is happiness for others, where as a clashing of the minds is a kind of happiness for some. When are you just settling, thinking nothing can be better? Can there be better?
    Stepping back from your relationship and looking at it from the outside, if its possible, is one step. Is your marriage the way you want it to be? Are you and your spouse growing in the same direction? Are you both evolving? Or has one of you changed direction, leaving the other behind?
    After many years of marriage I have found it common that at least one partner starts to change.  It might be during mid-life that causes the question to be asked, "Is this all there is?".  I know from my experience wife, mom and customer service rep wasn't all I wanted to be remembered for.  I felt hollow.  There is more to me. I talked with another writer who simply said,"I hear voices in my head and I have to write down what they say".  I feel the same way,  I'm compelled. Its crazy, I know, but if you write you know how I feel. And, I know if you know me, you think I'm a workaholic. Truly I'm not. I love my down-time. I just need more to fulfill me than a cubical in an office. Fitness isn't a new career for me either.  I was very involved in teaching and personal training thirteen years ago, before our daughter came along.
    I don't regret the decisions I made, family-wise or career-wise.  But as I reach my late forties I have to be true to myself now.  The question isn't "is this all there is", but "is this all I want it to be"? And where, as I change, does my spouse fit into all this? Is it a question of love? I have to ask that. As I examine my motivations and where I see myself in the years to come, where does my past fit in?
    Did I fall out of love? If so, when did it happen?  I have asked myself and, as I look back, it was a long time ago. I think, out of habit, I went through the motions, being a dutiful wife and figuring this is all there would be.  I watched as friends' marriages fell apart and began to examine mine. What made mine different?  Why were we still together? Everyone thought we were perfect but were we?  I realized I smoothed things out to keep the peace.  I rearranged my schedules to suit everyone else.  I gave up the things I loved to make everyone else happy.  It was time to find out what maked me happy.
    First, I started writing.  It was a wonderful outlet.  I wasn't sure I'd really want to try to get published, just getting the voice onto paper.  Then, as I wrote, and others read it, I thought, why can't I get published. So I'm working toward that goal. Then, I found an old friend and was asked to help him with his business.  Its three hours away and a great getaway. I might work a few hours, helping him to market his business and ideas, the rest of the time is relaxation.  Its my nirvana. And then I got back into fitness.  Not just working out and getting healthy but helping others do the same thing. Oh, and I make money at it too.  All during this I found my independence again.
    I have always been independent but I allowed myself to appear dependent in my relationship. Over the last five years I had been gradually gaining my independence back.  My husband had been going through his own mid-life and exerting his independence, which excluded 'honey-dos', causing me to take care of things.  So I guess I owe my resurgence of independence to him, indirectly. In gaining my independence I had to figure out where he fit into all this. Where did love, if there was any, play a part?
   I have deep feelings for my husband but am I "in love"? I have asked myself that question over and over.  I don't wish him any ill-will but is this partnership at its end? Can mere caring for one another be enough? I'm not a rash person; I think things through.  Can love last forever? For some, maybe.  For me.....