You are a dating expert. How does one become an “expert”?
The Irish media coined that phrase! My own experience after my separation from my
hubbie of 17 years made me reinvent myself having been a college adjunct
professor and start a new life.
I lived in sticks of Ireland, a country that didn’t even
have a legal divorce yet at the time. Where do you go to meet a new partner?
Especially when you hit the 40 mark? I found many people in a similar situation
and learned about the existence of dating agencies. Seeing how they worked, I
thought I could do better, i.e., apply higher standards and safety measures. I
bought the master franchise for Ireland from a British company. The business
was very successful. I brought dozens of people together in holy matrimony or
joyful cohabitation and I’m responsible for about a dozen children on this
planet. Ireland is a small country and I was able to get a lot of media
attention. I was featured in many newspaper articles, on the radio, and even on
TV. They started too call me “Chief
Cupid”, dating expert, and even “Dating Guru of the Millenium”.
How did you know you found the “Mr Right” this time around?
By pure chance
after almost two years of unsuccessful internet dating. New to Orlando, I checked
out a nice bar/restaurant where single
people went-supposedly; just to see if it was worth my while to doll myself up
on a Saturday to go on the prowl. He had been stood up by somebody else and
just came in for a drink, sat at the bar next to me…and read the rest of this
story in Next Time Lucky.
Where do you recommend adults over 40 meet other adults over 40?
My obvious choice is dating agencies with a personal touch that
know their clients and hold functions. Or matchmakers- even if it costs some
money! Then there is surfing the risky waves of the Internet. I have relatives
in their sixties/seventies that joined clubs to play cards, Trivia and went
ballroom dancing. That worked well for that age group. So there is hope for
everybody.
In
your opinion, what is the biggest mistake someone could make on a first date?
Are any topics taboo?
Interrogating a candidate like in a job interview. While
it’s natural that people’s past comes up, one shouldn’t dwell on it or complain
about one’s Ex.
At
what point, do you think, couples should become intimate while dating? Date #3,
Date #5, weeks or months later?
That’s a very personal decision, isn’t it? In my experience
as a matchmaker, first time encounters often remain one night stands. It’s
biological ingrained into men that they like the chase. Some are just looking for another notch on
their bedpost. I like to see a man pursue me, let him make an effort and show
interest. By that I don’t mean play hard to get, however. I’m a firm believer
in gut feelings. You will know when the time is right.
With
the experiences and mistakes the over 40 crowd brings to dating, do you think
it’s easier or harder to find someone?
Harder than when? In your thirties? I found it hardest for
women in their late thirties who were still single and looking for a marriage
partner first time round. I venture to say it’s harder in your forties when you
have kids or teenagers than if you were divorced and on your own.
I
know Next Time Lucky is fiction with some of your non-fiction experiences
thrown in. When we read this book, what is something you’d like us to take away
from it?
I’m taking the reader through a lot of situations where they
can decide if they would have acted in the same way and learn from Cherie’s
mistakes. That’s the main character. By sharing my experiences online and
through my professional work, I hope to give them food for thought and help in
making their own decisions. The dating tips chapter that I added to the new
edition gives concrete advice on where to go and what to do.
I
heard you were working on another book. What do we have to look forward in this
one?
A story called: I once had Farm in Ireland: An Organic Life
Story. It’s of a biographic nature as well about the time my life took an
unexpected turn when my first husband announced he would opt out of the rat
race and go to Ireland to become an organic farmer. I was a city girl who was
suddenly hit by a farm. While we had been strong supporters of the green
movement and environmental issues, it’s one thing to vote green and another to
change your life completely and emigrate to a foreign country for a presumably
healthier life style. It was a challenge and a culture shock for me and
unfortunately this adventure broke up our marriage. You get an idea about the
subject matter on my Irish website:www.InandoutofIreland.blogspot.com.
You can learn about growing your own veggies, raising lambs,
plucking gees and even make your own wine, if you’re interested. We almost
killed ourselves with work producing healthy food. It’s being edited and will
hopefully see the light of day by the summer.
What
was your most romantic date?
Being taken to a park for a picnic. He spread out the
blanket, had brought champagne in a cooler, and strawberries. We lay under the
Florida sun and looked at the blue sky. Suddenly his face hovered over mine and
placed his first kiss on me. Then he fed me a strawberry. Another kiss.
“Do you want to see the sunset on the beach?” What beach? We
were in Orlando. “It’s only about an hour’s drive to Tampa. We may just make it.” And we did.
Glorious and memorable.
What
is your biggest turn-off?
Men
not shaving, not showering regularly, biting their fingernails. Apparently I
have more than one….
When
you’re in a bad mood, had a bad day, what is the one thing your husband can do
that changes your mood?
Hug
me and tell me we’ll get through this together.
When
he’s had a rough day, what is one thing you do for him to lighten his mood?
Take him in my arms and tell him what a great guy he is,
what I admire about him and why I love him.
For a great story and matchmaking check out Next Time Lucky!
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