Gals, this one is for you.
Remember as a child, reading stories about the knight in shining armor saving the princess and then riding off to live happily ever after? Then being in your teen years, waiting on your knight to take you away to your own special place to live blissfully content forever? How'd that work for you?
I know, I sound cynical. I'm not, just a realist. I looked for that knight. And each one I met I thought would take me to his kingdom and euphoria would be the result. But to no avail....Each knight had flaws, some worse than others. I began to see that we had been duped as children. Why weren't we told the truth? Relationships can be ugly, scary and no fun sometimes.
You may be asking, what about you parents? Were they an example of bliss or chaos? Why didn't I expect my adult relationships to be the same as theirs? Oh, I don't know, I was told I would have it different, that life could be what I wanted it to be. I wanted the knight! Who wouldn't?
I finally realized that the knight was a very tall tale used to confuse little girls into having dashed dreams. So, I got a new dream. I decided my knight could have a reasonable amount of flaws, ones I felt I could live with, and we'd figure out a way to live, somewhat happily ever after. The plan worked!
So toss those old fairy tales and write your own princess story, one with real life characters with real lives. Your knight may not have unlimited funds or even a decent car but maybe he works hard and treats you like you're special. It may not always turn out like you plan but at least you walk into it with your eyes open and expectations realistic.