“Don’t
worry, Ontario, I’ll never leave you. You will always have me here to protect
you and your brother.”
Those
words from a childhood memory would haunt Ontario Stratton for the rest of her
life. Losing her father had been difficult enough, but her life would change
even more drastically at the beginning of her senior year of high school. Only
weeks into the school year Mrs. Stratton abandons her two children for a more
carefree way of living. Suddenly thrown into a very different life, Ontario
clings to her brother Eddy, her new legal guardian, and to no one else. Could
she trust anyone anymore? Even her best friend isn’t there for her. . .
In order
to feel like less of a burden on her brother, Ontario gets a job at the local
fifties-style diner. It is there that she meets her new “family,” including the
oh-so-intriguing Austin, the only one who can help her truly heal. In time,
Ontario discovers that Austin has his own demons, and that he needs her just as
much as she needs him. Some things in Ontario’s life begin to come together
again, but others continue to fall apart. Though her world seems to be
breaking, she is introduced to a kind of happiness she has never known before,
and her new found friends show her that maybe, just maybe, she can learn to love
again.
Excerpt
I stared out into the dark night
as I sat in her lap on the porch.
“Mommy?” I asked
quietly. I could feel her breathing as my head rested lightly on her chest.
“Yes?” she replied softly, looking down at me.
I leaned my head
back so I could look up into her face. She looked different now. Sadder. Older.
“Daddy isn’t coming
back, is he?”
Mommy’s eyes grew
glossy and tears began to fall. After a few minutes she shook her head. “No my
dear,” she whispered. “He’s not.”
I nodded slowly and
tried to stop my lip from quavering. Daddy had been my best friend. I didn’t
think he would leave me like this.
“Are you leaving
too, Mommy?” I asked, with fear in my eyes. As I stared her bright blue eyes
closed, releasing even more tears, and she started to sob. She held me tight to
her and I hugged her back with all my might.
“Don’t worry,
Ontario,” she said thickly. “I’ll never leave you. You will always have me here
to protect you and your brother.”
I smiled slightly
through my tears. I didn’t know why Daddy was gone, but if Mommy stayed maybe I
could be okay someday.
*****
I sat bolt upright, suddenly very
aware of the cool night air in my room.
As I woke I was panting, and in a cold sweat. I could also feel tears on
my face that hadn’t been there before. I stared into the blackness of my room
and saw the lingering memory of my mother’s face as she made a broken promise
to me so many years ago. That face seemed to be mocking me now the more I
stared at it.
Finally I couldn’t
handle it anymore and I threw my blankets off and ran over to my bookcase. I
didn’t need the light to find what I was looking for. I yanked a large binder
from the bottom shelf and began to tear out the pages. Pages full of pictures,
and notes, and memories of a mother who had said she would always be there for
me, said that she loved me.
Furious tears ran
down my sweaty face as I tore at the pages until the entire book had been
destroyed. Gasping for breath I fell to my knees, and then gradually, to the
floor on the pile of ripped up memories. I lay there, sobbing, until I couldn’t
feel the pain anymore.
Heidi Nicole Bird has been writing for as long
as she can remember and it is her favorite thing in the world. Heidi is a
regular NaNoWriMo participant and is mostly a young adult fantasy writer, but
also likes to write juvenile fiction and other genres. She holds a Bachelor of
Arts degree in History from Brigham Young University and she looks forward to
exploring the genre of historical fiction. Heidi lives in Utah with her family
and three dogs, and loves working from home as a full time writer.
Also by Heidi Nicole Bird, Through the Paper Wall
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