I am a contemporary romance writer. I published my first novel, Take 2, in Dec 2012. I chat about relationships and love. I'm no expert! I'd love your feedback!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Can You Have Joy Without Happiness
have many friends searching for something…happiness. We all want it but how do
you find it? What exactly are they looking for? Long-term joy or short-term
we are so caught up in our microwavable-instant lives that we want immediate
happiness. 24 hours a day. Any mature adult knows life doesn’t really work that
way. Sure we have happy moments in our day, things that bring a smile to our
faces, a belly laugh or a warm fuzzy feeling, but that isn’t joy. Joy is
long-term, weathers the rough waters, the prosperous and lean times, and can
take years to cultivate.
believe some of us are born with inner-joy. Or maybe we are taught very young
by our parents, inadvertently. I think I am one of those people. Oh, sure, I’ve
had hard times, sobbing moments that lasted longer than I care to revisit, but
overall, I look on the bright side. I know tomorrow will be better. I know
there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
not saying optimists are the only ones who know joy. On the contrary, I know
optimists that have a hard time finding joy. They have moment to moment
happiness, struggling to figure out how to make it last. At the same rate, I
know pessimists that have long-term joy. It’s the only thing keeping them going
define happiness vs. joy. The attached chart should help (thanks to Google):
caused by over all contentment, soul satisfying incidents
Happiness is an emotion in which one experiences feelings
ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense pleasure.
Joy is the emotion of great delight or happiness
caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.
I have always been taught happiness is fleeting; it’s in the moment. Joy
is something that
sustains you. I have many friends that are only happy as long as the
moment is a “happy one”.
As soon as things are difficult, sad, or tempers flare, they say they are
unhappy and want to give up. Taking life
as a whole is the key to joy. In the grand scheme of things is life pretty
good? Are the things that are most important to you where you want them?
Maybe the answer is in not taking life so seriously. I’m not talking the
case of various forms of
abuse or neglect. Those are situations better addressed somewhere else.
I’m talking in the
average person’s life. The old cliché – not seeing the forest from the
trees might apply here. We can focus so intently on a decayed tree, we miss the
beauty of the healthy trees. Some of my friends have adopted my favorite quote
– “It is what it is”. Some things you just can’t change and you have to accept them
as they are or they can stress you, but overall is it small compared to all the
other things in life? In days to come will it become a faded memory? Don’t let
this one unhappy situation rob you of your joy.